Left Out and Misjudged

I feel deep pain when I read what gunman Adam Lanza carried out. It was wrong and ultimately he is the only one who pulled the trigger. I get that. What I am struggling with is all the accounts of what type of child he was like. What type of kid he grew to be, how he was viewed in school, and how it shadowed the young man he became.

Why do I take such a vested interest in this case? I am a mom so much like Nancy Lanza that its almost scary. There are a some variables that are different. I had no rich ex to put me up in clover, however, he left me with the sole responsibility of raising two boys, one who by all accounts is just like Ryan, very smart, outgoing and driven to succeed and the other who had NVLD ( Non Verbal Learning Disorder) a disease that closely mirrors Aspergers, like Adam.

My son was too him self like Adam starting to pull away and socially isolate himself in about 4 grade. I thought it was just depression over the marital discord and divorce of his father and me, but it just go worse and worse. We would be out somewhere, which was RARE tha he would let me take him in public, he was very much a homebody. He would visibly get shaken and tell me he almost felt ill when he saw people he knew. I thought it was just because he was socially outsted by his peers and stigmatized “strange” “different” “weird” “off” all because he was socially akward hell inept and he could no real non verbal ques, he would laugh at inappropriate times, he never liked to look people in the eye, when asked he would say it made him extremely nervous. He would never answer serious questions and would just say something either dunny, innappropriate, or something he knows would get you going.

He was a total polite, sweetheart most of the time and then other times he would act like he couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to be in someone elses shoes. IE: His best friends parents died and he just thought he should move on and stop dwelling and that everybody dies. It was as if he just couldn’t relate. Over the years I have been able to get to him about trying to maintain proper eye contact, and to really try to model appropriate responses to different situations and he has learned and grown so much, but yet he still has this air he gives off that makes him almost creepy ro some, because he is a loner and afraid of rejection since his whole life has been one rejection after another, verbal and emotional bullying, always being left out of things, girls being especially hateful.

What I mean to get at in this post is that Society needs to work especially hard at teaching their kids to really think beyond themselves and stop thinking about popularity and how if they hang out with so and so they will be labeled weird. It should be that they held in high regard because they reached out and tried to help someone who can’t help they were born as fortunate and equipped as themselves.

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~ by misunderstoodmindz on December 18, 2012.

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